quick updates...

haiz... so long din update...
using the laptop all day long...
either listening to music or watching shows...
now addicted to online fantasy chinese stories...
heehee i lazy to go library to borrow since they always have one missing or sth...

a lot a lot of things not done...
like clearing up my desk...
working on my stories...
yes... whole holiday... 3 mths lor... n i oni finished one chapter of one story...
nid to finish a lot a lot more...
haiz i m so lazy...

my sis's prelim started...
oral.. listening... compo...
and the impt papers happened to be on 18 aug...
yeah sch juz started and one of my lessons is at nite...
wondered if i shd changed?
that day she having eng exam...
most imptly... i actually promised to celebrate bday w miss mango but now cant...
well... dun want to argue animore...
haiz... why her prelim had to be on that week...
still have tuition gg on...
then dunno if can celebrate wenya's bday...
not sure yet...

haiz... everytime i want to go out sth like this will happened...
but oct will be over...
yeah her psle is over by then...
so i will be free then... heehee...
but then again i m dreading that...
haha... i m contradicting...
aniway... psle is impt for my sis, cousin and my tutee...
yup i m giving tuition to all psle tis year... :p
nxt yr dun intend to teach animore...
but a prob is that... i will have no $ then...
have to save up now...
but last year i want to concentrate on my studies le...
my cap realli bad...
hope to get higher score then...
actually start working hard now...
though half the time it's because of my luck...
haiz...

aniway...
looking at the bright side...
sch's starting...
then maybe i would not be living an isolated life animore... :p
haha... i like din see any of my friends since hols started...
oni once or twice during the hols...
n i like a hermit le...
oni go out when neccessary... that's 4 tuition...

n maybe to the lib :p
and always alone....

sch's starting ....
haiz... i got so much thg to do!!!!!!!!!!

保护自己...

最近，看了《天魔神谭》

第一部到第三部

一部不错的书。。。

非常喜欢亚文这个角色

还有他的死神镰刀小队。。。

他们对头儿的忠心令我十分感动。。。

还有亚文与他的爷爷三位哥哥外公外婆还有其他的前辈的感情都耐人寻味

更令我喜欢这本书的情节是当每个人知道当年被他们称为没出息的亚文已变成这么强了！

身为银月恶魔，有着心狠手辣之名的他却常把感情压抑住

这我再次联想到。。。

不会用言语来保护自己的人往往是最容易受伤害的人

亚文就不会表达出自己对他人的好

他常用非常别扭的方式来表达

但不是每个人都明白他的苦心

而这也令他受到伤害

这也让我想起了《水果篮》 里面的依玲

在里面，小春说过依玲不会说保护自己的话

所以她常受到伤害。。。

在看了《小妇人》时

在看到贤德被父亲逼做她不要做的事时，她总沉默不语

而在其他戏里，也常有类似的情节，

晚辈在面对长辈无理要求时，

往往都是沉默不语。。。

但我觉得面对这种时候时

沉默不语是与事无补。。。

如果自己没做错，我认为不应该静静

而是应该解释清楚

也许这样是不尊敬长辈

但我认为只要没错，就可以理直气壮。。。

言语是可以保护自己的道具

虽然有些事不可以用言语来解决

但沉默也不是办法。。。

如不想说，也可以写出来。。。

言语文字是可以保护自己的

而保护自己便可以少受伤害

也许言语是双面刃吧

即能保护自己也能伤害他人。。。

所以人的言语要小心吧

简单的一句话也可以伤害或保护自己与他人。。。

唉。。。看了这系列让我也好想写一本书哦。。。

但。。。我是很难的吧。。。

bratya frm full metal alchemist

russian version...

full metal alchemist brothers...

frm full metal alchemist- brothers...

the video is at this website... i tink...
http://www.imeem.com/freakworld/video/MDhPGZZU/vic_mignogna_brothers_animation_video/

it's really really touching!!!!! so sad.... i din realize that when watching the anime...
i was looking at anime lyrics then i realize tis wonderful song...
i tink there's a russian version and sung by a choir?
it's realli realli good even though i dun understand the lyrics...
the lyrics is translated into eng here...

http://www.imeem.com/people/a1ddL/music/pV75Qc-E/vic_mignogna_brothers/
i got the lyrics frm here...

(Edward)
How can I repay you, brother mine?
How can I expect you to forgive?
Clinging to the past
I shed our blood, and shattered your chance to live
Though I knew the laws, I paid no heed
How can I return your wasted breath?
What I did not know has cost you dear,
For there is no cure for death

Beautiful Mother,
Soft and sweet, once you were gone
We were not complete
Back through the years
We reached for you

*A las, twas not meant to be*

And how can I make amends for all that I took from you?
I led you with hopeless dreams
My brother, I was a fool

(Alphonse)
Don't cry for the past now, brother mine
Neither you nor I are free from blame
Nothing can erase the things we did,
For the path we took was the same

Beautiful Mother,
Soft and sweet, once you were gone
We were not complete
Back through the years
We reached for you
*A las, twas not meant to be*

My dreams made me blind and mute
I longed to return to that time
I followed without a word
My brother, the fault is mine

(Edward)
So, where do we go from here?
And how to forget and forgive?
What's gone is forever lost
Now, all we can do is live

ok my chinese translation...

(爱德华）

弟弟，哥哥我要如何补偿你呢？
我可以希望你原谅我吗？
拼命抓着过去
我不但让我们的血流了下来，我还把你生存的权力粉碎
我明知故犯
现在要我如何把生命还给你？
我的无知把你害惨了
死亡是无药可救的

美丽的母亲
温柔慈祥的您走了之后
我们就不一样了
这么多年来
我们到了您身边

但这并不是注定的

现在我要如何补偿你呢?
我把你带往不可能的梦里
对不起弟弟,我是一个傻瓜

（艾尔芬斯）
哥哥,不要再为过去流泪了
不只是你的错,你我都错了
没有任何东西可以抹掉我们的错
因为我们走的路是一样的

美丽的母亲
温柔慈祥的您走了之后
我们就不一样了
这么多年来
我们到了您身边
但这并不是注定的

我被梦想蒙蔽了我的眼睛
我被梦想夺走了声音
我好想回到那时候
哥哥, 这都是我的错

(爱德华)
现在,我们要往哪走?
要如何遗忘与原谅?
失去的永远会不来
现在,我们只能活下去...

when u have made a mistake...
wad can u do?

wad can u do to make amends?
wad if there's no way to make amends?
how do u live w the guilt?
the feeling that u ahve let ur brother down?

in this anime...
the two brothers had tried to raise their mother from the dead...
but there is no cure for death..
one who had passed away can nvr come back...
they used wad all alchemists are forbidden to do...
they tried to bring teh dead back...
and for this they paid a heavy price...
the younger brother lost his body... the older brother lost one of his limbs...
but in order to ensure that his brother's soul can live... he sacrificed another of his limbs to bind his brother's soul to a set of armour...
the price was too heavy and yet they did not bring their mother back...

it's so sad...
tis is one of my fav anime...
frm it... we can learn a lot of thgs...
thgs like accepting the facts...
thgs like loyalty, kinship, determination...
and the anime is funny at times... and realli touching at times...

mayb i can rewatch them?
i borrowed teh manga frm the lib... mayb borrow them again? :p

a simple sentence...

dunno why but realize that i am getting more and more observant of simple sentences...

maybe it's cause of the books i m reading...

but i realli impacted on me how a simple sentence can hurt someone...

in kareshi kanojo no jijou...

one of the characters, arima soji (arima's adopted father) said that he told reiji (arima's birth father) that he's not as perfect as him...

though reiji had heard a lot of time frm others but from his brother... the only one who cares abt him... it hurt him...

but soji said that... it's not juz the words... but it's the words combined with the actions he was doing.. he felt himself distancing from reiji...

and because of that things changed dramatically...

if oni he did not said that...

but the truth was the one sentence combined with actions really hurt reiji...

a simple sentence can really hurt someone if you are not careful...

i hate u frm an enemy it's not as hurt ful than frm someone u care abt...

i uploaded chap 9 of peace knights recently...

and i hate you was used quite frequently...

i was writing how the boy's last words to his sis was i hate you out of spite even though he promised his sister he will not used these words carelessly...
and after that the girl died...

but it's juz a story... but how will u feel if that really happened?

especially after a fight?

will you regret it if your last words to someone you really care is i hate you?

what if there's the last time you talked to someone you realli care about?

simple sentences like go away, shut up...

all these simple sentences can hurt someone unintentionally...

but we say them all the time...

though usually we only say these to either someone you hate or someone you care cause you noe they dun care...

but wad if they care?

simple sentences like i miss you, welcome home, i'm home,

or a simple hello...

for different ppl with different actions holds different meanings...

for someone you care a lot to say i'm home after some time...

can bring happiness to your heart...

someone to say i miss you lets you noe that someone in this world actually cares abt you...

simple sentences can bring joy as well as hurt into one's heart...'

yume no naka e

i love this song...
kareshi kanojo no jibou aka kare kano aka his and her circumstances's ending song
veri easy to remember the tune and the anime is great!

lyrics and english translation frm
http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/kknj/kknjynne.jis.txt
so not mine...

『夢の中へ』
「彼氏彼女の事情」
エンディングテーマ歌：塩{温子・鈴木千尋

探しものは何ですか　みつけにくいものですか
カバンの中も　机の中も
探したけれどみつからないのに

sagashimono wa nan desu ka
mitsukenikui mono desu ka
KABAN no naka mo tsukue no naka mo
sagashita keredo mitsukaranai no ni

まだまだ探す気ですか　それより僕と踊りませんか
夢の中へ　夢の中へ　行ってみたいと思いませんか
ウウウー　ウウウー　ウウウー　さあー

mada mada sagasu ki desu ka
sore yori boku to odorimasen ka
yume no naka e yume no naka e
itte mitai to omoimasen ka
U U U- U U U- U U U- saa

休むことも許されず　笑うことは止められて
はいつくばって　はいつくばって
一体　何を探しているのか

yasumu koto mo yurusarezu
warau koto wa tomerarete
haitsukubatte haitsukubatte
ittai nani wo sagashite-iru no ka

探すのをやめた時　みつかることもよくある話で
踊りましょう　夢の中へ
行ってみたいと思いませんか
ウウウー　ウウウー　ウウウー　さあー

sagasu no wo yameta toki
mitsukaru koto mo yoku aru hanashi de
odorimashou yume no naka e
itte mitai to omoimasen ka
U U U- U U U- U U U- saa

探しものは何ですか　まだまだ探す気ですか
夢の中へ　夢の中へ　行ってみたいと思いませんか

sagashimono wa nan desu ka
mada mada sagasu ki desu ka
yume no naka e yume no naka e
itte mitai to omoimasen ka

ウウウー　ウウウー　ウウウー　さあー
あーウウウー(夢の中へ)　ウウウー(夢の中へ)
ウウウー　さあー

U U U- U U U- U U U- saa, aa
U U U- (yume no naka e)
U U U- (yume no naka e)
U U U- saa

english translation...

What is it you're looking for?
Is it hard to find?
Even though you search
in your bag and in your desk but can't find it...

Are you still going to search for it?
Wouldn't you rather dance with me?
Don't you want to try going into a dream, into a dream?

Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- saa...

You don't even let yourself sleep,
and don't smile any more.
Grovelling in the dirt, grovelling in the dirt...
What in the world are you looking for?

Just when you've stopped searching,
you find what you've been looking for-it happens all the time.
Let's dance. Don't you want to try going into a dream?
Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- saa...

What is it you're looking for?
Are you still going to search for it?
Don't you want to try
going into a dream, into a dream?

Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- Oo Oo Oo- saa, aa...
Oo Oo Oo- (Into a dream)
Oo Oo Oo- (Into a dream)
Oo Oo Oo- (saa...)

chinese translation...

你到底在找什么？ 很难找吗？
你已找了书包、桌子 但还是找不到 ...

还要继续找吗？
与其继续，不如与我一起跳舞吧？
难道不想尝试步入一个梦里吗？

唔唔唔 唔唔唔 唔唔唔- 啥啊

你不让自己休息 也不再微笑了 沉没在泥土中
你到底在找什么？

但是往往 就在你停下来时， 你终于找到了
一起跳起舞吧！难道你不想再次步入梦中吗？

唔唔唔 唔唔唔 唔唔唔- 啥啊

还要继续找吗？
与其继续，不如与我一起跳舞吧？
难道不想尝试步入一个梦里吗？

唔唔唔 唔唔唔 唔唔唔- 啥啊 啊啊
唔唔唔- 在梦中
唔唔唔- 在梦中
唔唔唔- 啥啊。。。

fireworks...

as usual... every year at this time, my hse is able to see fireworks...

last year i tink it is in the middle of condor hero?
this year is in the middle of the legend...
miss a part of the story... haiz...

aniway... i tink it's on 6 july?

that sat...

we went to the top floor fro a better view...

i took 3 videos and pics of it...

cant upload the videos but nvr mind...

here's the pics...

enjoy!

these are in a sequence.. frm a bit to whole...


owarimasho...

crash and burn by savage garden

i juz heard it in a doujinshi video ... i tink...
they use the music and use gw images...
it was great i love it...
i tink it's by naomi..

aniway the lyrics i love it!!!

lyrics taken frm
http://www.lyrics007.com/Savage%20Garden%20Lyrics/Crash%20and%20Burn%20Lyrics.html

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
to tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

now for the chinese translation i have done...

当你觉得很孤单
整个世界似乎早已背弃你
请给我一分钟让我好好说服你的心

我知道你感到四面的墙已慢慢围住了你
不但难以呼吸还发现原来人可以那么冷漠
当黑暗的手掌已伸到你的门框
而你已无法再承受下去了

就请你叫我的名
当你跳下时，我会接住你
把你抱起，带你一起翱翔在夜空
当你崩溃时，我会捡起每一片拼回去
当你需要撞过去， 就撞过去，燃烧起来
你并不孤单

当你觉得很孤单
而忠心的朋友很难找
被困在街道里，无处可去
脑海里都是恶魔
梦想希望已很远
你已经无法再继续下去

就请你叫我的名
当你跳下时，我会接住你
把你抱起，带你一起翱翔在夜空
当你崩溃时，我会捡起每一片拼回去
当你需要撞过去， 就撞过去，燃烧起来
你并不孤单

因为心痛伤痛一直会在
但是当它过去后，你依然可以呼吸
你可以再次呼吸

当你觉得很孤单
整个世界似乎早已背弃你
请给我一分钟
让我好好说服你的心

就请你叫我的名
当你跳下时，我会接住你
把你抱起，带你一起翱翔在夜空
当你崩溃时，我会捡起每一片拼回去
当你需要撞过去， 就撞过去，燃烧起来
你并不孤单

home...

what is home?

home is where one can stay
where one can be one's real self...
a place to relax and smile...
yet why most of time....
is for sleep and cry...

and not even a place to breathe?
not even a place to rant?
is that home?

home is not neccessary your physical home....
it has to be ur emotional home...
ur sanctuary... from everything that hurt you...
physically or mentally...

yet how easy is it to find one?
can everyone find one?
it can be anywhere and everywhere...

some people like to walk around...
some people like to hide...
wad do u like to do...

where is ur home?
a place to smile...
a place to relax...
a place to feel safe...
a place to be ur real self...

why is it that home is so difficult to find...
who can be there?
who should be there?
who can you trust?
who can you speak to?
who will listen to you?
who will lend you a support?
who can stop your tears?
who can you count on?
who understand you...

is it your friends?
is it your family?
is it your you yourself and alone...

it's so hard to be strong sometimes...
it's so hard to carry on...
it's so hard to maintain a facade...
of something that is never right...

fake smile...
fake anger...
fake tears...

sometimes it's so hard to protect yourself...
even harder to protect yourself from this mental pain...
of your heart breaking...

is it so hard to confide in someone?
is it so hard to yelll out your anger?
is it so hard to curb your temper?
y m i having problems doing them?

when it's time to scream out frustration...
i kept quiet...
when it's time to keep quiet ...
i scream out...

maybe it's because i am stupid...
maybe it's because i had bad timing...
maybe i should think before i act...
but the problem is do anyone care?

in the sea of ppl...
am i alone?
among countless faces...
i am just one more...
no one worth to b remembered...
no one worth to b cared 4...

sometimes...
it's so hard...
even if i kept trying...
when can i soar to the air wout any problems?
when can i swim freely in the water wout any care?
maybe i have to keep trying...
even if it will nvr ends...
a journey wout destination...
that's the journey i'm on...

no... i m not having depression...
juz so down recently...
quarrels after arguments...
yellings after screamings...
tears after tears...
oni one word... haiz...