home...

what is home?

home is where one can stay
where one can be one's real self...
a place to relax and smile...
yet why most of time....
is for sleep and cry...

and not even a place to breathe?
not even a place to rant?
is that home?

home is not neccessary your physical home....
it has to be ur emotional home...
ur sanctuary... from everything that hurt you...
physically or mentally...

yet how easy is it to find one?
can everyone find one?
it can be anywhere and everywhere...

some people like to walk around...
some people like to hide...
wad do u like to do...

where is ur home?
a place to smile...
a place to relax...
a place to feel safe...
a place to be ur real self...

why is it that home is so difficult to find...
who can be there?
who should be there?
who can you trust?
who can you speak to?
who will listen to you?
who will lend you a support?
who can stop your tears?
who can you count on?
who understand you...

is it your friends?
is it your family?
is it your you yourself and alone...

it's so hard to be strong sometimes...
it's so hard to carry on...
it's so hard to maintain a facade...
of something that is never right...

fake smile...
fake anger...
fake tears...

sometimes it's so hard to protect yourself...
even harder to protect yourself from this mental pain...
of your heart breaking...

is it so hard to confide in someone?
is it so hard to yelll out your anger?
is it so hard to curb your temper?
y m i having problems doing them?

when it's time to scream out frustration...
i kept quiet...
when it's time to keep quiet ...
i scream out...

maybe it's because i am stupid...
maybe it's because i had bad timing...
maybe i should think before i act...
but the problem is do anyone care?

in the sea of ppl...
am i alone?
among countless faces...
i am just one more...
no one worth to b remembered...
no one worth to b cared 4...

sometimes...
it's so hard...
even if i kept trying...
when can i soar to the air wout any problems?
when can i swim freely in the water wout any care?
maybe i have to keep trying...
even if it will nvr ends...
a journey wout destination...
that's the journey i'm on...

no... i m not having depression...
juz so down recently...
quarrels after arguments...
yellings after screamings...
tears after tears...
oni one word... haiz...