running...

sometimes it's so hard...
sometimes it's so tough...
sometimes i really hate myself...
and sometimes i really hate the world...

maybe i am finding excuses...
maybe i am too stupid...
maybe i am too short-tempered...
maybe i should just retreat into another mask...

why is it so hard?
why is it so tiring?
why does it make me so angry?
why does it make me want to cry?

i am trying...
i am struggling...
i am sinking...
tears are pushing their way out of my eyes...

i will not cry...
i will not raise my voice...
i will not do things that i will regret later...
i will not say things that i know will hurt others...

maybe then everything will go away...
i know i am running...
all i want to do is to hide...
juz find someplace and never come out...
maybe i will be better as a recluse...
i am bad at handling relationships...
be it friendship or kinship...

but still i want to try...
let mi cry without tears now...
tomorrow... i will stop...
it will be a brand new day...

juz argued w my family... n in nid of letting out my feelings...
sorrie to bore ani1...

High School Musical 2...Gotta Go My Own Way

ok... i lazy to type an update first so do tis 1st...
aniway... i heard tis song again yesterday...
realli love tis song since i heard it the first time while watching high school musical 2 w zhui xing on christmas day...

ok... lyrics taken from http://www.lyricsmania.com/
Gotta Go My Own Way

Gabriella
I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try,
somehow the plan is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok...
I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now I gotta go my own way
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause
I've gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok...
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here I hope you understand
We might find our place in this world someday
But at least for now I gotta go my own way
Troy
What about us?
What about everything we've been through?
Gabriella
What about trust?
Troy
you know I never wanted to hurt you
Gabriella
and what about me?
Troy
What am I supposed to do?
Gabriella
I gotta leave but I'll miss you
Troy
I'll miss you
Gabriella
so I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
Why do you have to go?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this world someday
but at least for now
Troy
I want you to stay
Gabriella
I wanna go my own way
I've got to move on and be who I am
Troy
What about us?
Gabriella
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
Troy
I'm trying to understand
Gabriella
We might find our place in this world
someday but at least for now
I gotta go my own way I gotta go my own way
I gotta go my own way


想了很久，有件事我还是要说出来.

这些日子，我们之间好像哪里不对劲。

不管怎么做，就是会发生什么事，把我们的计划改变。

虽然这句话我难以说出口

但为了我自己，我还是得说。

我需要当我自己，向前进，

我知道你不会有事的。

我希望你能了解，我并不属于这里。

也许有一天，我们能在这世界里，找到我们的位置。

但在那之前，我必须走我自己的路。


我真的不想离开

但是每当我一开始希望，我就会失望。

多一个颜色变成了灰色。

而我无法一直眼巴巴看着事情这样继续下去。

今天，我将离开。

因为为了我自己，我必须做对于我最好的事。

不要担心，你不会有事的。

我需要当我自己，向前进。

我希望你能了解，我并不属于这里。

也许有一天，我们能在这世界里，找到我们的位置。

但在那之前，我必须走我自己的路。


那我们怎么办？我们所经历的种种又要怎么算？


那么彼此的信任又怎么算？


你知道我不是故意伤害你的！


那我怎么办？


那么我应该怎么做？


我必须离开但我会想你的。


我会想你的。


但我还是必须离开，做我自己。


为什么你非走不可呢？


我并不属于这里。 我希望你能了解。


我已经试着了解。


也许有一天，我们能在这世界里，找到我们的位置。


我要你留下。


但在那之前，我必须走我自己的路。


那我们怎么办？


我并不属于这里。 我希望你能了解。


我已经试着了解。


也许有一天，我们能在这世界里，找到我们的位置。


但在那之前，我必须走我自己的路。

我需要走我自己的路。

我需要走我自己的路。

我需要走我自己的路。

sch starting... n i m sick...

haiz... ok... start w the bad news i tink...

sch's starting...

n i m sick...

yes... due to the 1st day again...

i m stuck in the toilet for the better part of today...

dun understand why i kept having stomache...

mayb i shd go to see a doc...

tmr's sch's start n i got 3 lect!!!

1st lect cant miz them...

haiz...

tues got 2 lect... one at 8am to 10am... so early... n the other one is at 4pm -6pm!!!

i got 6hr!!! mayb i use that time to see a doc... wonder if there was a polyclinic nearby or shd i juz go to the yih's clinic? i dunno...

mayb i din even want to go see a doc... haiz...

at least i got wed free n thur one science lect...

tmr also nid to ballot for one of my tutorial...

aniway... last fri...

went to yundan's hse for bbq!!!

din take ani pics tis time cause it's too dark...

but had a gd time!!! mit yundan's sis n bro...

n i din do anithg... i juz sit n eat...

thxs to deming n lin jing... guess they are the busiest ppl that day n not to forget yundan's bro...

they were great!

realli have fun... though i wonder abt the trick to yundan's sis's game (i tink her name wei feng... not sure if it's spelled like that)

aniway... went home early w rong luan n li ling...

oh b4 that...

during fri morning... i went to causeway pt...

n i bought a bag!!! i lazy to take a pic... but mayb nxt entry...

$29.90 offer $15.90 n it's big enough to put my laptop in... heehee...

mayb bring it to sch tmr... haha...

n i made a small gift for lin jing... since it is her bday...

yundan told mi no nid to buy a gift n i realli dunno wad to buy for her...

so made a keychain which i chained w a hp strap...

hope it is not too ugly...

aniway... i reached home at almost midnite that day...

so tired... n i din get to sleep till ard 2am or it is 2.30am? i wanted to finish up d.grey ma 11 b4 i slept...

but on sat... i got tuition at grandma's hse at 10am meaning i nid to be out of hse at ard 8.45am?...

n i oni woke up at 8.06am... 555~ tis is the 2nd session n last wk i also late...

luckily... my grandma always says dun rush...

i got there ard 10.07am in the end...

as i was rushing to the mrt...

yes... i could barely kept my eyes open while walking...

so put realli loud music in my ears...

oh yeah i woke up w my water in my ears... cant listen properly...

then i got stuck at the traffic lights cause the traffic lights are all not working at the junction...

i was waiting n waiting to cross since there were a lot of cars...

aniway... when i finally reached smb mrt... i was so late n tired....

n yet... i met a friend frm smb sec...

he's also frm yj but so long din see him le...

but due to the fact that i was late n tired n i din even rmb wad i said to him...

so i hope that no one was offended if i was rushed n distracted when u are talking to mi...

realli sorrie to everione whom i had done that to...

gomen nasai!!!

reallli... as pisceans are always lost in their own world...

so sorrie...

aniway... i had tuition n lunch at my grandma's place... i stayed there till ard 2pm...

i felt realli embarrassed lor! whenever my grandma asked sth... i had to "huh?" for a few times b4 i got it... cause i could oni listen frm one ear...

then i went to orchard popular since they were having 20% discount storewide...

but din find anithg i want!!! waste time n money....

then on the train... it started raining heavily... n i decided to take the train to woodlands then go interchange take 962 home so i dun nid an umbrella...

yes... i did buy concession...

aniway...

i met my sis who was studying at woodlands lib...

i had alr bought some food n wanted to go home le...

but she wanted to look for a pair of shoes... yes she's doing admin work during wkdays and assistant teacher during weekends... n she's wearing a pair of trackshoes everiday...

she also wanted to go shop for my mum's bday which is tmr...

but i wanted to go home le...

tired n i started feeling stomach cramps...

aniway i shopped w her for abt 1 hr b4 we went home...

it was a realli tiring day.... haiz.... luckily i tink my ears are ok now... can hear properly...

but i got stomache instead... haiz....

vivo city trip...

ok... 5th jan was a veri fun n enjoyable day!!!

in the morning i went to my grandma's hse for tuition....

wow... my cousin is realli hard working! more so than my sis... seriously...

he had all these test papers... n he did them even if he had not finished learning all the new chap n marked them himself... he copied down the questions he had prob w n asked mi...

seriously i was impressed... n he could even tell mi why he did not award himself the full marks n why he think his mtds are incorrect...

not bad lor!

aniway... after that i went to the coffeeshop w the three of them n gan ma... n i had to say again...

they are too engertic for mi lah!!!

i always had to grab them b4 they ran somewhere... n w the place being a car park... it is way too dangerous lah...

had ban mian... gan ma treated mi... heehee...

after that met zhui xing for relaxatn day at vivo city...

n as usual took lots of pics...

oni tis time xianhao is also aiming for my candid...

n i tink they were all out for revenge lor!!!

kept trying to catch my candid!

ok... some scenery pics... the rest at my pics blog... yes at the link...

but i havent upload them :p

ok... now we went to tis veri nice cafe...

i have iced cappuccino n believe mi it was great!!!

xinying had mango mania n xianhao had iced chocolate paradise... i tink...

n mine is in the middle...

ok... i took lots of candids...

i lent wenya my hp n she kept trying to take my candid... haiz...

xinying still reading xianhao's bk...

i love xianhao's personality test bk!!! kept reading... ni finished a bit... muz borrow frm him when he finished...

n we did more chatting i tink... i got distracted easily...

then i decided to use timer to take a pic of 4 of us...

nid a lot of bks... to make it high enough... haha...

decided to learn how to take pics of myself... kept failing haha...

acctually the 2nd one was i tink my hair is too messy but cant see so they suggest using the hp...

ok... mi n xinying... i took it myself... w wenya yelling... more to left... no lah more to rite now... haha...

then we walked to food republic for food...

ok... as wenya wanted to go b1 to look at food... i decided to use my hp to take a sequence candid wout them knowing... n i managed to capture each individual one of them wout too much prob... haha...

then on the way to mrt...

i still dun understand wad's so funny abt that orange thg? n why wenya tinks it's cute?...

then took some candids...

n we discovered all of us had worn white shoes that day...

reflectns of 2007

a light to guide mi... but it was spoiled n thrown away... leaving a pic as a memory...

come sing a song of hope
come share this time with me
beautiful memories will linger on and on
no spoken words can stay
no photographs won't fade
only this song of hope will still remain...
~a song of hope; a song frm SYF2000 choir when i was in sec sch...

so i noe it was veri late but i tink i shd still do a relectn of last year...

a lot of things happened last year...

a lot of deaths...

in jan or feb... my great grandmother passed away...

in may in the midst of my exams... my grandfather passed away....

it was a shock... n was difficult to accept...

then there were a few deaths i was told of my distant relatives but i dun realli rmb...

2007... a lot of ppl died...

in jan... my uncle's wedding...

it was fun... n we had to usher ppl inside...

n believed mi when i said it was difficult... n tiring...

then for 2007 i got a tuition job of 2 sisters...

the younger one kept throwing tantrum n it was hard to teach her anithg...

she refused to listen n threw temper n cry...

her mother, grandma n even auntie came n helped...

still it was tough... seeing as she can forget wadever i tell her in moments...

the older sister was ok... just that she was always tired...

then again can't blame her since she had cdac at nite n maths buddy prog in sch i tink in teh morning at 6.30am? not so sure...

aniway... both my sis n the girl is having psle tis year... i m going to be so busy with mi also teching my cousin who is also having psle tis year...

in may 2007, i got another job at a tuition ctr...

it was ok... n pay was gd...

since it is more of an enrichment type... i like it... stress-free... n thgs...

aniway...

for 2007 i muz say i did a lot of thgs last min...

term papers n exams...

i realized that term papers played an impt part in my scores... since my term papers being badly done affected my cap greatly...

i realli did not do well in this 2 sem... partially due to the fact that for the may exam a lot of thgs happened... n i realli could not focus much on my exams...

for the dec exams... i did badly for the term papers...

so muz study hard tis sem...

also for last sem in aug... or is it sep?

wenya n i voluteered at bishan home to teach them play basketball...

it was fun and enjoyable...

it was too bad that for tis sem... i will be too busy to take part in such activities...

haiz...

ok... dun tink anithg i forgot to mention...

made a lot of friends... tis sem... realli...

ok... that's all... the rest are in resolutions...

now nid to update vivo trip...

ja...

new year day 08... orchard...

ok... now for the new year post...

on 1st jan 08...

met zhui xing to shop at orchard...

then dear wenya was late due to the fact that she slept late n could not wake up time...

n xianhao had to sms her...

while waiting... we had our lunch at peper lunch...

yes i ate my fav... w lots of cheese...

after that... wenya came n we went to Heeren to shop...

n i was trying my best to rmb the buildings i saw...

sadly to say... i oni now quite a few...

haiz...

ok.. at Heeren...

xinying saw tis nice jacket thg...

she liked it a lot... $15...

i tink it was ok... but xianhao said auntie n wenya thinks not worth it...

i saw a bag $24.90... that was having 20% discount n cost $19.90...

it was big enough n not as expensive... since most of wad i had seen was almost $40...

but then i tok for a long time n decided that i shd looked for shoes 1st...

yes... mina-san... i needed shoes again...

aniway we took some pics...

then we went to taka... since wenya wanted to go to kinokuniya...

tried to find comic but sold out...

on the way to taka... i took some candid...

n realized everi1 kept looking at their hp except for wenya... haha...

then finally... the rest of them went to the bus stop while i walked to the mrt alone...

n go popular to find that comic n realized that...

orchard popular had a lot of assessments... shd have gone there to look for my sis's assessment lah...

n i bought a super glue... yes to fix my shoes... haiz... needed to buy a new pair le...

n most imptly... i realized that there were no chinese bks there... i walked for nearly half hr b4 i gave up...

aniway... most stupid thg i did...

i called my mum on the train to see wad to buy for dinner...

n decided to go to the coffeeshop that was on my way home...

but i forgot!!!!!!

i walked until the lift n realized ... where was my dinner?...

n walked all the way back... to buy then went home...

haiz...

by the time, i reached home, my dad n my 2 sis reached home oni 5 min after mi... with food frm my grandma's hse...

haiz... i m so stupid...

aniway... had a fun new year day...

nxt... to update on vivo trip...

christmas trip... 25 dec 07

ok... i knew tis was a super late entry... gomen...

aniway on 25th dec 07...
tis was how my table looked like as i struggled to finish up the last preparation...


then offf to cck to meet zhui xing...

the train was delayed for ard 40min... yet i ended up the earliest there...

we went to pastamania...

n i ordered country baked pasta... nice! but preferred baked rice...

n i added a lot of cheese...

i muz say the service there was quite gd...

cause they gave xianhao the wrong dish n they were willing to change n veri polite!!!

gd service there!!!

aniway wenya- san was playing w my hp camera since she complained she din had a camera though her hp had one... :p

after pastamania... we walked ard then went to ntuc to buy tidbits to bring to xianhao's hse...

n thru the way.... xinying n i were discussing if we needed to buy anithg to bring to xianhao's hse since we were guests...

n i still couldnt believe how difficult it was to find a bottle of drink that we could share...

all of us had different tastes...

n in the end we decided on 1.5 l of lemon tea... took us almost half an hr to decide on a drink ... haiz...

ok... we compared the plastic bags we each brought to see whose is bigger...

orange colured is mine n it is the biggest but with i took out the presents ... mine (minitoon plastic bag) is the smallest...

we watched high school musical 2... love the songs!

n mr bean on holiday... realli funny but some parts i tink a bit of morbid humour...'[

then we exchanged presents n it's time for zhui xing awards' ceremony 07...

it was done by a survey i conducted... so organiser... mi...

biggest winner... xianhao...

then photo taking session...

i m still learning how to use my hp to take pics of myself...

n then i realized we could use one of the speakers to place our hp n took pics...

after that ard 7 pm or 8pm... we went to lot one food court for dinner...

n they took 2 candid pics of mi... haiz...

then the leo sisters posed opp mi...

looking up... hey! there's an ufo yp in the ceiling?

ok... let's close our eyes n imagine we are in a spaceship...

sorrie i add that myself... :p

n finally on the way to mrt...

they wanted to take pics w the posters...

n a lot of ppl looking at them... haha...


ok... nxt up is new year's day!!!