< maybe i shd juz die...

i hate my life i hate eveythg in the world...
i hate myself... family... friends...
i almost wish i m a hermit... one wout anione in my life...

a loner... locked in a room... wout anione to talk to...
wout hearing anithg... wout seeing anithg...

mayb i shd lock in a room... throw away the key...
forever trapped inside... mayb i will be happier...
i m so tired... y shd i try... thgs will juz get worse...
the more i try... the worse i get...
so why shd i try... i will oni cry...
n no one will more...
y shd ani1 care?

i wish i was alone in the world...
i m so tired... n if i had the courage mayb i will juz throw everithg away...
maybe i m sucidial but i noe i m not...
i m a coward cause i oni dare to dream... but not act...
i dun have the courage...
think i m real pathetic...

i tink my sanctuary is the toilet...think it is funny?
since young i hid inside the master bedroom's room toilet n for hrs...
sat inside there n cry... well... it's dry n no one can come in...
when i got scolded or veri upset...
i will hide inside n no one can get mi out unless i want to come out...
as i grow older... i tok i kick that weird habit...
but even when outside whenever i m upset...
i will still hide in the toilet...
frm yj to hospital to even mac...
somehow when i close that door tears will juz flow...
i dunno why... but it did...

i want to throw everithg away n ran away...
y is everythg i do wrong?
y is it that i cant do thgs i want?
is it because i shd not have family n friends?
is because my personality is too bad for family n friends?
mayb i shd be alone in tis world...

i argue w my family... makes everi1 tired...
make myself scream n cry...
i shd not have friends...
i cant commit a lot of times...
i cant seem to commumicate w them...
i juz seem to make thgs worse....
n instead of being able to relax among them...
i m becoming more upset n felt more hurt instead...
i m like making thgs diffcult...
i cant seem to do anithg i like...

i shd be an invisible girl...
shd be sth that does not matter...
shd be sth that no one shd notice...
mayb that will be a better life for mi...

i decided to learn frm one of my friend's blog...

no the words are there juz not visble for those of u who dun like to read sad stuff...

juz pretend there's nothing there...

tis will go on for the rest of the entries...