hiding...

ok...

i tink i shd stop updating for a while or do something else?

realli tink i nid to rest my mind...

n well... since tis sem... most of the modules i m taking alone...

so i tink i shd take the time to stop gg out n thgs...

mayb after a while i will feel better n attain social skills?

haha... i noe sounds weird...

but dun tink i shd mit ani1 other than for sch purposes...

since my social skills are so bad...

tink i shd step away frm all these mess...

then after that i will have a clearer mind?...

aniway... lots of thgs coming...

n got a lot of projects...

nid to find grps... but dunno ani1 in the class...

wonder how i can find a grp?...

mayb i will fail... haiz...

wonder how i can contact someone when i dunno ani1...

tink i will juz have to settle my sch stuff 1st...

then the rest... juz have to wait...

today had 4 hr break... spent it alone at the usual desk...

surfing the net w my laptop...

forgot to bring earphone so cant watch...

but reading a few touching stories...

work lagging again...

tink i shd not go out or do anithg for the rest of the sem...

strained relatnship w others esp zhui xing...

well.. guess i will have to focus on sch work 1st...

after all my cap realli bad...

dun tink can study outside again...

cause dun want to repeat last wk's experience...

tink i shd go home straight after tuition on sat...

no more dillydally n thur as well no more wandering till 7.30pm for tuition...

focus on work!!!

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!!!

temporary not gg aniwhere...

haha... but might be gg to woodlands or jurong lib soon... mayb tmr...

n still feel like gg escape... but everi1 says not nice...

n mayb i shd buy a comic or a blouse?

but nid to go out... then again... staying at home w my sis having chicken pox... now that's a scary thought... haha... i m so fickle :p

ok... juz a note might not update tis blog soon...

juz nid a break...

mayb nxt wk oni yiwen will see mi?

i mean other than lect...

cause we have einstein term paper to be handed in soon...

haha... dun be scared if i din reply...

cause real busy n nid time to adjust my feelings...

haiz if i have the money i will disappear for real...

mayb come back after a few weeks...

haiz but have sch n no money...

so... aniway...

sth to clarify...

for my bday...

actually the east coast idea is ok... but juz not special...

i dun hate like juz not as like it... n i was trying to find a way to celebrate it to make it more special than an usual east coast trip...

the reason i din want to plan my bday while i m tired or upset was that i wanted it to be special...

eastcoast is like kept gg a few times last year...

so at least sth different tis time n i was trying to come up w one or tink we can go somewhere else... but it's like ppl kept rushing n thgs... n i dun like it...

i realli hate to do sth other ppl pressure mi to do...

mayb that's why i dun like peer pressure...

for mi... sometime i might even do the opp or at least wont do it at all.. if someone pressure mi...

n no matter how many times i say i dun want to celebrate it due to unforseenable circumstances... to others they are juz excuses n they brush it off n said wont happen one juz come up w a plan lah...

n when i told my mum... my mum actually juz told mi to tell everi1 i'm sick... since the possibilty is quite high but TOUCH WOOD!!!!!!!!

I DUN WANT TO GET CHICKEN POX LAH!!!!!!!

realli!!!!!

i m worried enough n ppl juz said wont happen n ask mi to do thgs...

it's like my opinion dun matter... then wad for u ask mi?

they say juz postponed it...

hello! i m worried enough n dare not even dare to tink of tmr... n here u are saying i m chicken little n pressure mi to quickly decide sth? if u tink that bday is special... then y kept pressuring?

then y muz make mi stop doing sth that impt...
yes i finally get in the mood n understand the readings n left half a page... but now nid to start over cause i dunno wad the front says... n it takes mi an extra 2 hr when i can finish it in less than 15 min if i stayed in that mood...

n then got angry because havnt discussed sth that i dun planned to... ok mayb i shd planned to discuss but i tok that that day stuy is the reason i came out... if i noe nid to discuss sth... i might try to read some earlier...

i dunno... but wad's past is had passed...

n i admit i said a lot of irresponsible thgs...

but i m pissed off n frustrated...

i tok i could escape frm it instead i got in deeper...

aniway i tok i shd try sth new...

but now no mood to celebrate...

n tink feel pathetic to celebrate...

cause it sparked off my trouble for mi...

mayb i m a weird person?

the more ppl rush mi to do sth...

the more i will hate it...

that's why i hate grp projects...

cause ppl always rush each other to finish sth...

i cant like it...

it made mi feel like i cant do anithg i like n doesnt giv mi time to tink...

n if i hate it... i wont do it...

mayb i m stubborn...

but that's no way i wanted to do sth i dun like esp for sth like my bday...

rite now... i realli hate celebrating it...

i appreciate the effort all of u put in to plan...

but it's juz not the way i like it..

n i dunno if i want to go... seriously... i was hoping for sth special n relaxing...

mayb even decide wad to do on the spot or sth...

but sth that kept niding to do tis n that...

it's like becoming to be a duty not a relaxing thg...

aniway,

daily journals on hiatus!!!

wont update abt my life soon i tink....