thoughts rampant...

lately, i have lots n lots of thoughts running through my mind...
i dun realli understand actually....
i dun even noe what sparks all these thoughts...
but i realli nid to thanks al of you who give mi encouragement!
realli thanks... n xinying thxs for going out with mi!
so far... i tink i always buy sth when we go shopping...
the list so far... a bag at $10 at marina square... a jacket at $20 at amk hub n a pair of shoes at $6.90 at jurong east... i spent a lot of $ tis holidays...
i also bought 2 pair of shoes at $4 each...

i realli dunno why...
but i felt a bit depressed yesterday n today...
luckily tuition was cancelled for tonight.. changed to wed...
n the tuition at yishun was cancelled this whole week due to national day...
so shd be a more relaxing week...

aniway...i was lookig thru the blogs...
n i tink i m a realli bad friend...
i dunno... mayb i did make a veri good choice when i decided not to be a social worker...
i tink i simply dunno how to help ppl...
realli... it's not the first time that i encountered ppl w family probs...
well actually i tink i did encountered more than a few times?
i dunno...
everitime when sth happenes... i dunno wad to do or wad to say...

i rmb in sec 1 or 2...
i cant rmb all the details animore...
my friend showed up in the middle of the class in a long jacket when it was so hot outside...
then she showed all the bruises or cane marks all over her body...
it was scary... her mum hit her because of her brother...
then a lot of teachers n principal went to her house...
and after that... i lost contact with her... she got retain i tink...

i tink every family has their own probs... but then i was helpless then... unable to help...

years later...
juz now... i read her blog...
not the girl mentioned perviously...
but someone else...
i tink she will noe who i m refering to...
i tink most of you will noe...
but juz in case... i won't mention her name...
n it was the same... i dunno wad to do...
well... i dun even dare to contact her...
i dunno how our friendship had come to this stage...
somehow... we avioded each other...
i dunno how to talk to her... much less how to help her...
sometimes i realli hate myself...
wad's worse... i tink that i can oni type out my feelings...
i dun even dare to say them out...
it's so hard to say out your own feelings sometimes...
well most of the times... i dun even noe wad i m feeling...
i duneven noe if she read my blog or not...
but at least i get tis out of my system...
but realli...
i hope she will be better...
i dun noe wad happened but i hope i can help...
but then again wad can i do...
i juz hope she knows that i still want to be her friend...
n dun give up... jia you...
maybe i m realli a coward... a super bad friend...
but i still hope to be ur friend...

i dun have a lot of realli close friends...
but once before... you have been one of my friends...
i hope you can still be my friend...
i dunno why or how our friendship turns out to be like that...
but i realli hope you will not give up...
n most imptly, a lot of us still cares abt u...
even if we are too scared to contact u...

n sch's starting ppl...
take care everyone who have taken the time to read my blog!
realli take care n jia you everi1....