depression?

i dunno how i m supposed to feel nowadays...

sometimes i m happy...

sometimes... i feel so upset...

outside... i feel so tired and sometimes veri lonely...

at home... i kept losing my temper...

i dunno why...

sometimes... tears juz fall...

at night... i cant sleep without tossing n turning for an hour or so...

it's so tiring...

i realli dunno why...

i get upset or angry over stupid things...

it's like i cant find a place to belong...

i hate myself sometimes...

hate the world the rest of the time...

i put on masks...

when with friends...

i tried to smile... sometimes an impassive or distracted mask...

i feel so upset n tired... but i dunno why...

when somethg happened... like ppl din inform mi abt sth...

i had tis overwhelming sense of anger or upset...

it's like no one care if i noe abt sth... n yet they took for granted that i noe n will go...

mayb it's my personality? i had been feeling like that since sec sch days...

i m like an invisible person... no one worth talking to or having as a friend as...

i rmb in sec days... someone even called mi a "spare tyre"...

they oni approach mi when no one else is there for them...

or when they wanted to talk...

i m like invisible oni visible when needed...

i dunno if it's the same now... but i noe i have friends now that will at least tok of mi when doing sth... n i m realli glad... juz the occassion slip up or sth i dunno...

but sometimes it makes mi feel upset n that mayb living alone in my own fantasy world is better... but that's running away...

i dun realli like running n hiding...

but i did that almost all the time...

i hid my feelings behind my mask... sometimes i dun even noe why i did that... it's like sth i cannot live without?

at home...

i m throwing my temper...

it was like i have all the anger bulid up inside myself n i threw them out at home over the smallest thing... i dun get it... mayb i shd get anger management lessons?

n things juz have to irritate mi...

or mayb tis is juz my mask?

an angry mask...

haiz... dunno why...

but i m juz so tired...

sch's starting n hope things will be better...

then again...

mayb it is the weather...

i noe quite a few ppl not feeling happy now...

soon... i hope all of us get over tis ...

realli... soon i hope...