a lot of thgs....

a lot of thgs i wanted to talk abt....

so start frm first...

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1st... i read a korean love story again today.... sth i borrowed well... frm long ago...

aniway... a part of story made mi veri sad... so much that i actually cry...

no... it's not the romance part...

it is the part when the girl realized that her parents had died in a hit n run accident when she was looking for a wedding aniversary present for her parents....

n when she reached the hospital... wad realli touched mi was that her usually cool n stoic younger brother cursed n fainted... then when he woke up instead of being the normal attiude teen... he cried non stop like a five year saying that he dreamed abt how when he was young the whole family had a trip in the forest playing and having fun... he said they could not just died... parents could not be that irresponsible! n the girl juz cried w her brother n then she kept muttering that it is juz a nightmare....

it's so sad.... b4 i started reading tis book, i had an argument w my mum again...

it made mi realize that not to take for granted kinship... treasure it while u can....

it was at tis pt xinying called mi so i dun have the time to finish e bk...

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2ndly, i went back to yj 2dae....

it was values day again... i went back frm 5 n stayed till ard 9+pm... but i still din see a few of my teachers.... it was fun n i talked to mdm ho, ms li hua, ms ang n ms shen though she din teach mi b4.... i was disappointed not seeing ms lim, mrs lay naing n also ms lee who had left the sch....

i finally got to mit peikiat!!! PEI KIAT!!!! I MISS YOU!!! n thanks for doing my survey!!!

thanks a lot! u re the best! hope u keep in touch w mi!... ok dunno if u got read... leave a tag leh!

cricket, muz take care ok? miz u!!! n ur hair dun cut it lah... u finally have it longer than u used to have it... keep it? aniway i tink u look gd.... n muz keep in touch!!!

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3rdly... i talked to xinying le.... n i told peikiat abt the prob n asked for advice...

so i decided to write a letter here... ok a short one....

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a letter to a friend....

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hey... we have been friends for a long time...

i realli treasure our friendship.... realli....

but sometime esp tis time... i felt realli tired juz to keep our friendship....

it seemed that the way we interact always end up w sth we dun like these days...

xinying says it is stress but i dun tink that's true...

to mi, it is all the negative feeling rolled up into one bag n the bag had finally burst...

n wad i m realli upset abt was the fact that u choose to run instead of facing the prob...

is running always the soln? i juz upset that u feel that it is better to juz walk away...

is our friendship so bad that u feel no pt in taking a few min to solve the prob?

i dunno? if that is the case, i dun tink anithg i say will improve the sitn....

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in the 1st place i m upset bacause u use excuses again...

u re saying u re bad at speaking when i say i dun understand wad the prob is...

u tink even if u ask mi u won't get ani ans... am i such a bad friend that u dun want to ask mi a qns... or m i so stupid that u feel i won't get ur pt? u tink it is redunant to talk to mi...

i noe it might not be ur intentn to say... maybe i m misinterpret...

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but i realli get those feelings n i noe u feel that the more u ask the more i will argue w u?

so u used ur excuse again... if u oni used it a few times... maybe i wont be angry... or most likely like b4 kept my unhappiness to myself instead of showing... but u used it too many times...

i noe u will ask wad is it i m upset abt?

i m upset because u feel that i have made u feel stupid? i have no intentns of that...

maybe we misinterpret again? but u used that too many times...

n instead of sth u feel inferior abt... it had become sth that showed a way to escape responsibilty... u re juz saying that to show that u re not to blamed for ur disabilty to say thgs... n i felt sth that said u re not to blame for unable to speak well n it's my fault at reminding u of that? i have tis feeling n it is not nice at all...

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n it makes mi unhappy and frustrated... i hate to say tis but it had been gg on since in yj...

do u noe that i sometimes had to hide in the toilet... to hide away the tears of anger n frustratn over some words or thgs u do? it had been gg on since in yj during ccs... when i din say anithg... i noe u would not noe... mayb i shd juz said out n now it had exploded...

but i kept quiet because i dun want to weaken our friendship...

i realli treasure tis friendship... the zhui xing esp ours... cause how many friends can stay together n studied in uni 2gether? i realli appreciate having someone to share my probs... my stories w... realli... n i realli hope to have tis friendship stable n studied jap 2gether... u re why lessons re fun...

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but then... i m realli upset that u feel that it is better to juz run away instead of staying n fighting for our friendship... running away shows how little u value our friendship to mi...

staying n trying to work thgs out... i will juz say wad i m upset abt...

maybe call mi petty... call mi too sensitive... but maybe then after that we will get back to where we have been....

i noe i m petty sometimes... i noe i m nagging sometimes... maybe sometimes i shd juz kept my mouth shut? i dunno... but realli... i hope u will either send mi an email or sms to reply...

i m not saying u re in the wrong or that i m totally wrong in tis matter...

i noe i have been petty... n arguments nid to happen if both parties did sth wrong...

u might not have thought it was wrong but to me, u have upset mi...

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i realli dunno wad else to say... other than tis... i realli appreicate u being my friend....

n ps... my hp no $ :p so when i din reply it is not because i m angry w u...

n do u want to mit b4 sch on mon to talk? i dunno if either one of us can keep our cool? but at least we try? i dun want to end our friendship juz like that....

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n most imptly, chinese new year is coming... can we juz forget everythg in e brand new year?

so pls reply... if u want to try nb work thgs out... maybe u sms mi the time n we have breakfast n talked abt thgs... maybe not have hot drinks... later we got angry n the drink is on ur or my head :p.....